You Know You're Nine Months Pregnant When...

I found this and thought it was appropriate:

You know you're nine months pregnant when...
...you don't want to travel anywhere too far from your doctor or hospital b/c you think your water's going to break any time now.
...you start doing some "last minute" cleaning b/c you know the next time you dust your furniture won't be for another few months... if that (lol)
...you figure you only have a few more weeks to eat like a pig so you say "heck let me each as much as i want now" b/c after this i'll have to go on a strict diet.
...the kind of bacon you wanted didn't come with your order and you start crying.
...when you actually start seriously contemplating walking for hours on end to start labor
...when you look in the mirror and don't recognize your new, "robust" self
...when the kicking ceases to be cute and actually hurts!
...just the thought of going out in the heat makes you start to swell.
...you not only eat a snack before leaving to go out for dinner, but you bring another back-up snack in your purse, just in case the extras in your glove box are gone!
...when you can no longer ....or barely put your shoes or socks on your self.
...when you tell labor to 'bring it on' instead of being scared.

...when your puffy feet and cankles are fun to mold and make shapes with.
...when everything and nothing sounds good to eat anymore.
...when you seriously sleep with 6 pillows. Just for you. Maybe more.
...when you get stuck on other people's (or your own) furniture and cannot get up...no really, you can't

...when you change your sleeping position in one hour more times then you normally change your underwear in one year.
...when you get nervous about your husband driving a half hour away to work. (**or a five minute walk away because he forgets to keep his cell phone on!)
...when stairs look like mountains.
...when you feel like your clothes should say 'tent' instead of the actual size.
...when you actually forget that you forgot something, remember later that you forgot something, but still can't remember what you originally forgot! - - what was the question???
...oh, and what was I trying to say? Because even the simple words elude me these days... "hey honey...can u put the clothes in the fridge? erm, um, I mean sink..... CRAP!!! I mean dryer.. yeah... thats the word"
And (although true rather than funny).... when your doctors appointments have turned into once a week visits. :)